Shoutout to Single Moms Everywhere

Last July, I wrote this post about an article that I've read about mom who leaves her small children inside the car so that she could buy make-up at Ulta. Some of you commented and expressed horror at such carelessness and I totally agree with you all. Today though, I read about another mother who also did the exact same thing-- and I've got nothing but sympathy.

Shanesha Taylor is mom to a 2-year old toddler and a 6-month old baby. She left them in the car with the car windows cracked open while she went about her own business. But what makes Shanesha's situation very sympathetic to me is that she is a single mom, and her errand was to go on a job interview that would have helped her feed her kids if hired. She couldn't find or afford a babysitter for her kids, and felt that she had no choice but to leave them inside her car. More on this story here.

What resonates with me about this is that I'm often in the same dilemma myself: as a single mom who has to put food on the table, there have been a lot of times when a legitimate work commitment necessitates juggling with child care concerns. Unlike Shanesha though, I count myself very lucky because I live in a culture where child raising is considered more of a village effort rather than a solo/couple gig. I have extended family whom I could rely on (coerce? haha)  to cover the basics on the few times that I've been in a bind, we generally have all-around help who can pinch-hit in an emergency, and I am honestly not above using TV or the iPad to keep the Wonder Boy entertained for a couple of hours. But this is only now that I've been able to breathe more easily, since the WB is already four and has mostly become independent. It was a real train ride when he was two or younger.

My point is that single moms out there have it tough. You worry about everything because here is no one else to share the burden. You worry about the money, about disciplining, about the housework, etc. As far as single moms go, I've been fortunate to be in the situation that I am in and I am so grateful for that everyday.

So my takeaway from Shanesha is that maybe it's time for us to be more sympathetic to a single mom who's doing her best. As for me, there's this single mom I know who takes in laundry and does odd jobs around the neighborhood to help make end meet. The next time I see her, I think I'll give her a small amount of money and arrange for a Jollibee dinner for her and her brood. And while I'm at it, I'm getting myself a treat too.

And let me share something that I saw on Facebook:

It's a holiday here in the Philippines today. How are you spending your time off?

April Fool's Day prank: The "magic potion" that will turn into treasure

I'm planning to stay away from social media today, just because I expect that a lot of people will be trying to post something outrageous in the spirit of April Fool's. Sadly, I don't know a lot of witty boys and girls so for the most part, these pranks are going to be mostly lame (i.e.I'm pregnant! joke, hahaha).

I have, however, been plotting a prank of my own for the Wonder Boy (WB), to start off something which I hope will be a playful tradition between us for the years to come. Earlier today, I've arranged for him to anonymously receive a package containing a vial of "magic" potion, and a set of simple instructions which he can read and follow all by himself. Long story short, he'll have to pour the potion into a bowl and then take a nap to 'activate' the magic that will turn the potion into treasure.

Between you and me, the potion is simply some diluted food coloring and the treasure will turn out to be a bowlful of candy, chocolates and small toys. The best part is that when he gets a bit older, he'll figure it out eventually-- and hopefully it'll turn into a fond childhood memory down the road.

Do you have any loving traditions-- April Fool's or otherwise -- that you've started for your kids?

When Your Child Has a Disability– Three Things to Remember

Guest post by Stephen Gallup

(The Kikay Mom note: I initially published this guest post last year on my now-defunct blog. At that time, my own Wonder Boy was still less than two years old and it got me thinking how blessed I was that he turned out so healthy, so intelligent, and so loving. Steve is the author of the book What About the Boy? A Father’s Pledge to His Disabled Son; I will be republishing my review of the book next week because I still feel then, as I do now, that it was a good read, containing interesting insights in between gritty anecdotes of a family dealing with a special child.)

Sooner or later, all parents deal with unexpected crises. Worry is just part of the adventure of raising kids. However, a surprisingly large number of parents also discover, usually sometime in the first three years of their child’s life, that a developmental disability is also part of the picture. Their child could be given a label like Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, ADHD, or autism. Or perhaps no diagnosis is offered, despite obvious problems.

My son Joseph was one of those who with no useful diagnosis. His birth in 1985 started our family on a very long odyssey in search of help. Here are a few lessons I learned along the way.

Steve with son Joseph at 3